As a young, attractive, educated, and goal-oriented young woman I often find myself attracting all sorts of attention on a regular basis like from potential companies and researchers aiming to employ me and utilize my skills respectively. Likewise, I am often complemented from male suitors. While I do enjoy the traditional complement every once in a while from coworkers, superiors, and even the average Joe on the street, I usually find myself overwhelmed and very uncomfortable from all the attention. To make things worse, when I do go out of my way to exchange phone numbers or Instagram info with these gentlemen, I am often stunned and amazed by the extent of their lies, deceit, ignorance, and foolishness that they exhibit with their conversations and actions.

Based on feedback from close friends and additional independent research, I have come to the conclusion that my aforementioned traits are commonly associated with the attraction of what is scientifically known as a “Fuck Boy”. Collectively, psychologists and social scientists have long come to the conclusion that “fuck boys” unfortunately represent a significant proportion of our population. Fortunately, however, there is a solution – Fuck Boy Repellent! For the past few months I have developed and tested out the alpha and beta versions of this liquid that can be easily sprayed on the body to sequentially repel fuck boys from your personal space.

The key ingredients thus far have been sparkling water, blended up pages of insightful and educational textbooks and newspaper articles, two teaspoons of hope, a dab of antiperspirant, and a drop of mouthwash. While these trial phases and beta tests have had limited effects with regard to repelling different varieties of “fuck boys” for extensive periods of time, I am more than confident that a final and more polished version will do the trick! Therefore, I am kindly asking for your donations towards my goal ultimate goal of $3,000 that will go towards funding additional lab tests, trial stages, and statistical analysis. Ultimately, I am more than optimistic that through working together, we can gradually decrease and diminish the looming threat of “fuck boys” everywhere!